My Last Column

Robert Davolt

May 9, 2005

I have always tried to share with my readers the way I see it as honestly as possible. That has not always gone over as pleasantly or as smoothly as it might, but it sure is easier to track than what story I might have told to whom. Candor is the privilege of folks with nothing left to lose from truth (or those who no longer have the memory capacity to lie effectively). You have always gotten it from me without the sugarcoating.

It is not an easy decision to share something this personal, but in the end, I can't see changing now-- nor making exceptions for myself. And you have always deserved my honesty and my respect.

A few years ago, I had surgery to remove a minor surface melanoma on my skin. It was the result of repeated tropical sunburns during my Navy service many years ago in the South Pacific. All indications at the time were that the surgery was successful and that was that.

Quite recently, however, it was discovered that it had been much more serious. and it had not gone away. The cancer had moved to lymph nodes, spleen, spine, lungs, and finally to my brain, making me lose the use of my right leg. The prognosis is not optimistic: A few months at most.

I'm actually glad they gave me a date. I am said to delight in proving people wrong (particularly anyone with a "Dr." in front of their name), so this gives me the goal of outliving their forecast just to spite them.

Therefore, this will be my last column for you. Because work gives me joy, I will try to work as long as I'm able, but I will no longer be able to keep up a regular writing schedule. After four years here on the LeatherPage.com, this is one of the most difficult things I will need to bring to an end.

I wish to thank my publisher and friend, Joe Gallagher. Should I manage to wring out another essay or two, perhaps he will kindly indulge us the chance to talk again and post a special message.

I would like that, because I shall miss you.

I have had a wonderful time writing for you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your responses, complaints, corrections and comments have been like food to me. I love the leather community and if I have taught anything--if I leave you with anything-- DO NOT accept second rate for yourselves. Always question; always challenge; always ask "why." Do what you want, but do your very best and do it to the very best standards you can establish.

How do I feel? That changes from day to day. Well, yes, I had plans. I had a lot that I still wanted to accomplish. Those plans are interrupted now. But I have seen the world (or at least five continents of it, swam in five oceans and touched countless islands). I have had opportunities no one else has had. I have no regrets. I have loved and been loved. I have been counted down and out, started over, been to the edge and back so many times. inevitably there had to be one I wouldn't come back from.

Helen Keller once wrote that, "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." Perhaps this is simply my next daring adventure.

I have a few loose ends to tie up, a few things to put in order. then I intend to enjoy the time I have left quietly with my best friend and partner. I could hope for no better love than his; I could think of no better life than mine; I could consider no greater passion than to write; I could ask for no better place than among leathermen.

To have been one of you.

For Robert's Obit, which he wrote himself. Click here

© 2005, Robert Davolt